A week on from Country to Country festival 2016 (the monumental weekend of pretending Nashville was only a tube ride away) and I’ve taken to thinking up what could make this key date on the UK country scene even better by next year. Yes, there are sensible suggestions like a lineup that spans the generations of country artists (George Strait sharing a stage with Cam perhaps) but I’d also quite like:
1. A Boot Wearing-in Robot
Rubber moulds of you own feet click onto the legs of this robot which walks in circles wearing your cowboy boots for about seven days prior to C2C so they’ll be perfectly softened for your first wear.
2. A Cloning Machine
This would’ve solved the helplessness upon arriving on day one and realising Sonia Leigh and Jess and the Bandits were performing at the same time on different stages. It could also be used to help fulfill the new legal requirement which will surely be in place by 2017 for Whispering Bob to introduce all country shows, everywhere.
Because whenever an artist goes out into the crowd and down the aisle, it is consistently the aisle furthest from my seat.
4. A Trigger-Finger Practice Range
For anyone else who wasn’t fast enough to get early bird tickets this year; a training ground to improve mouse-clicking speed to get in quicker when the general ticket release happens. This would be especially useful for securing after show party tickets without having to take out a bank loan to buy resale ones.
When you spot the fifth person in a row in the same checkered shirt as you, just press the bottom button and watch your stripes transform.
6. A Social Seating App
A ticket site that let’s you choose seats according to who you’ll be sat next to. Pay more for seats next to dashing cowboy / someone who shares their chips during the break; pay less to sit in front of the drunk who’ll spill drinks on you during Kacey Musgraves. Designated seating sections would work too; think section A1 for single and ready to mingle, section A2 for those most likely to do a shot every time whiskey’s mentioned in a song, A3 for those who are both of the above…)
7. A Time Machine
Firstly to use in that moment we were distracted by our second pulled pork baps and missed Old Dominion, and secondly to keep popping back in time to Chris Stapleton singing Fire Away.
What would you invent to enhance your festival experience next year?
By @CheryTwee for @UKCountryBlog
(Robot photo thanks to Flickr)