When Good Country Lyrics Go Bad

There are times it seems country songwriters are spoiling us for mere mortal men. They’ve raised the bar impossibly high with lines like “if mine could be the name that changes yours” or “I feel like the frame that gets to hold the Mona Lisa”. But then there are other times.
Do you ever wonder how some country lyrics would play out in real life if they were actually said instead of sung? Guys, don’t try these at home…

Sam Hunt: You’ve got a body like a backroad.

body like a backroad?!!
Wait Sam, can I just check… do you mean bumpy or just not very well maintained?
Lee Brice: You sound like truck tires on a gravel road.


Sorry Lee, I’m a bit hungover to be honest.
Brad Paisley: My eyebrows ain’t plucked; there’s a gun in my truck…


Actually, thanks, but I think I’ll take the bus.
Josh Turner: Would you go with me if we rolled down streets of fire?


Look, Josh, I really like you but your date ideas need a lot of work.
Dan or Shay: For a minute or two I was laughing at your stack of books…
Me: Sorry, I don’t date bullies.
Dan or Shay: No no, my bad, it’s just you’re just the right kind of crazy baby.
Me: crazy
Chris Stapleton: D’you wanna know the difference between whiskey and you?


Chris, I’m not sure where this is going…
Sam Hunt (again!): If you’re gonna be a homebody, we’re gonna have a house party.


Saaam, when I said I wanted a quiet night in… 
Luke Bryan: Girl, you make my speakers go boom boom


Luke, are you calling me heavy?
Dierks Bentley: It’s a 10 hour drive but I can make it in five.


crash dummy
Er, Dierks, that sounds kinda dangerous and you’ve already got 6 points on your licence…
Florida Georgia Line: Baby you a song…


Y’all know it’s “YOU’RE” right?
Eli Young: Silly woman, come here let me hold you.
You get the gist. We love these songs really, but are there any lyrics that make you go “hang on a minute, what?!!”
(With some help from giphy and the cover photo by Theodore Lee)

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