If Brad Paisley were British

I’ve woken up still buzzing from last night at the O2. Once again Brad Paisley provided a masterclass in audience interaction (just ask Hannah’s whose Instagram got taken over by the man himself, or the TWO youngsters who were given signed guitars out of the blue). As for the rest of us; we were given an insight into why Brad played the U.K. long before festivals like C2C started bringing big name country acts over here (his 2011 London show was our first epic country concert).

It turns out Brad Paisley’s always been a bit of an Anglophile. From the small extra stage near the back of the arena, he joked about re-releasing his albums with British English lyrics and gave us a sample by replacing the opening line to We Danced with “the pub was empty…” and tweaking Ticks to include “I’d like to see the other half of your Union Jack tattoo”.

Well, challenge accepted Brad. I mean, how else were we all going to amuse ourselves on the tube ride home when we were still wired from a show where Ward Thomas and Keith Urban made guest appearances, the stage was turned into the Grand Ole Opry for part of the night, and the Nashville Nights attendees managed to pull of the Mona Lisa conga in the O2 arena?

Seriously, we’re 100% poised to pre-order a special British Brad Paisley album so we thought we’d help get the project started with some alternative British lyrics. Sing along if you can recognise the songs…

 

She’s a yellow pair of trainers…

 


 

First I’d prove it’s me by saying, “Look under your bed:

There’s some Tenant’s and a Nuts mag no one else would know you hid.”

 


 

We’re the Saints,

We’re Villains too,

We’re the Spurs and Baggies, Rovers, Toffees

Gooners, Reds and Blues,

We drive ford fiestas home,

Sing that You’ll Never Walk Alone,

We crank up our music Friday nights,

We’ve just got two country stations,

Yeah we’re one small Country Nation, that’s right.

 


 

‘Cause Online I live in Mayfair

I’ve posed for A. McQueen and I’ve got splendid hair

 


 

The angels sang a Pale Ale Lullaby

 


 

Tonight’s the Guy Fawkes display

But you’re staying home instead

Because if you fail English Lit.

Mum and dad’ll kill you dead

 


 

I’ve got some big news

The bank finally came through

And I’m holdin’ the keys to a second-hand Aston Martin

 


 

To the cashier down at the bank

You’re just another current account…

 


 

He pulled into the parking lot and everybody squealed

Because he had gone and painted his Reliant Robin with three wheels Camouflage

 


 

It’s an Irish Guinness, Indian Tikka,

Or Turkish Döner in the streetlight,

Just another British Saturday Night

 


 

It’s not who wears the trousers,

It’s who wears the skirt

 


 

Listenin’ to old Alabama, drivin’ to Milton Keynes…

 

What have you got? Add your own lyric ‘improvements’ in the comments below.

Yours,

Team Brits in Boots

(Image credit: By minds-eye – Brad Paisley, CC BY-SA 2.0)

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